I’m Not A SAHD, Working Is Much Easier
Full disclosure: this post will have a response written to it at some point between November and the end of January. It will likely be a point-counter-point type response to this post. Man, that seems like I've just done a solid job ensuring you all come back often between November and January to hear the riveting other side of this...but what is this? Over the last six months, I am constantly realising and constantly reminding myself that I have it really easy right now. While I share the night and morning feeds, as 'Daddy', I am off duty from 7am until 7pm for the majority of the week; and it is really easy.
I try very hard to be an active parent and Dad. As the current bread winner in the family, my main focus is bring home the bacon, while my amazing wife aka Super Mummy looks after equally amazing twins. During the work week, my Dad day starts with bath/feed/bedtime when I walk through the door around 6:30 or 7pm. By 8pm, the kids are asleep and the next few hours we are awake involves watching the monitor when loud squeaks or screams sound out. On nights when I am watching the boy, I maintain a constant (sleeping) visual on him, listening out for stirring, screams and deciding when his late night/early morning feed should happen. While this time can be quite tiring, especially when he's waking up every hour or two, I know come 7am, I will be switching roles back into work mode to make sure I'm showered, dressed and out the door for an 8am train.
While math dictates that I am spending 12 hours focused on Daddying and equally 12 hours Workying (sp?), it doesn't take into account the more significant things that Super Mummy has to deal with. I don't have to worry about the comings and goings of having twins, especially those prone to simultaneous temper tantrums, painful screams from teething, providing their entertainment, being active with them, cleaning copious amounts of bottles or never-ending piles of laundry; the only crap I have to deal with is the occasionally fussy client, tight deadline or demanding colleague. Those are very easy to manage and aren't all that draining as a whole. Granted, I do equally miss out on all of the smiles, laughter, growing, happiness and loveliness that the twins exude constantly, but these are made up in kind for the amount I have with them at night or on the weekends.
Now, I say all this knowing that by the end of this month, this will be completely flipped on it's head. Super Mummy will be going back to work full time, with me taking over the very big shoes to fill as the full time carer of twins. I know it will be challenging, really challenging on some days, but it will also be very rewarding. During my upcoming three months as a home as Stay-at-home-Dad, I am looking forward to this once in a lifetime opportunity to be such an active part of my twins lives. It will definitely not be easy, but if my wife has taught me anything, it's that despite the long days, happy and sad times, it is so worthwhile and rewarding to get to spend so much time with the kids that can never be replicated with them in the future. While I'm sure there will be days when I am yearning to return to tight deadlines, fussy clients and demanding colleagues, I will always remember to keep in mind how lucky I am to get to have those experiences at such an interesting and exciting time in my twins lives. Now, just wait to see if I totally counter this stance in a few months time.