Guest Post: A SAHD – Are You Sure???
The wonderful and amazing Super Mummy has decided to grace us with her side and view of me taking on the role of Stay-At-Home-Dad. Now, without further ado, I give you Super Mummy's guest post.
Are you sure??? That was my initial response when Twin Daddyo who was already a great Father stated that he would like a stint as a SAHD. I had already been at home for quite a while and there were amazing moments to report but I also had a realistic and not rose tinted view of childcare. Once the decision was made, I had to prepare emotionally. How would I cope? How would the babies cope? How would Twin Daddyo cope? I asked myself a million questions and what little sleep we were getting at that time was dominated with thoughts of the swap. The hardest thing for me was easing up on the control factor.
My husband will be the first to admit that at times I can be a bit of a control freak - this was the toughest aspect of this situation. “Does he even know how tights work?” “Can he let go of the fun Dad approach at times?” “Does he know how to cook vegetables?” The questions were endless AND ridiculous, but, I couldn’t help it.
At first I wanted to know everything that I had missed…..everything, which looking back, must have been annoying for Twin Daddyo – but a mixture of love for me and a bit of nervousness and eagerness to do a good job kept him smiling and answering. I did let go, I let up on the control and actually started to really enjoy the benefits that comes from being a working Mother.
I would get early morning cuddles and laughter as I was getting ready for work – be able to leave mid nappy change or scream and return to two well cared for children who were just so excited to see me. It’s an amazing gift having that reaction when you walk through the door…the first few times I don’t even remember taking my coat off, I just dropped everything and went straight for a double cuddle. Now things are more relaxed (well, I’m more relaxed) and I return home in time to climb into their ‘fun zone’ (playpen) read a couple of books then aid Twin Daddyo with the bath & bed routine.
It has been lovely for me to return to work after 7 months not having the society driven guilt that all working mothers are told they should have, as Twin Daddyo was there. I genuinely didn’t worry about their wellbeing as their amazing father was caring for them – that has been a gift.
I’m in awe of Twin Daddyo's desire and determination to have this time with them and it’s a time in all 3 of their lives that will always be remembered whether it be through story telling or through the immense bond that has only got stronger through the experience.
Men need this, they need to know it’s OK to have this time and it should be embraced and supported. The more men that take it up the more role models there will be for them in the future. If you’re a boss, even better…….lead by example.
We are now embarking on a new chapter with both of us aiming to work full time and other arrangements are being made. I’ll struggle, he will struggle…hey the childcare may even struggle, but the babes will not, they will (if we do our job properly), just have another person in their lives who love them and is in their service to ensure they are happy and healthy.